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Hair Metal Militia

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“The more sophisticated miners have remained in my employ, as have the girls who know what's best for them. And Kill Master, even some of your own men have decided that there is profit to be made from those little spiders of yours.” — General Lionwhyte


The Hair Metal Militia is an unplayable faction of humans lead by General Lionwhyte based on Glam Metal.

DescriptionEdit

Despite fielding his own minions, Lionwhyte is under the command of the Tainted Coil. It consists of Humans who stayed loyal to General Lionwhyte after the first incursion at the Crushing Pit where the Headbangers were emancipated during the mission "Exploited in the Bowels of Hell". They support the Demons as they oppress humanity. As they are ordinary humans, just like their enemies in Ironheade, all Hair Metal Militia units are counterparts of Ironheade units. At least one unit, the Hairsplitters, are the result of Lionwhyte actively copying the technology of Ironheade. He even goes so far as to actively copy the construction of Ironeheade merch booths, effectively making the Militia an alternate skinned Ironheade faction. A proper stage is never seen, possibly resulting from a lack of forethought on Lionwhyte's end, or because his Pleasure Tower can function as a stage.

It has been alluded to by Double Fine that the Hair Metal Militia was intended to be playable in the multiplayer as an alternate skin for the Ironheade faction when opposing players both choose Ironheade. Due to time constraints, this feature was scrapped, and, instead, mirror matches in multiplayer have different colored units.

StoryEdit

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“Sorry man, but we got a sweet gig here and were not about to let you grease-bags ruin it!” — Hairbanger


The Hair Metal Militia was formed after the Headbangers escaped General Lionwhyte's Crushing Pit. They consist of flamboyantly clothed versions of Ironheade units.

They seem to find that staying slaves is the most profitable way to live (most likely due to Lionwhyte lying about jobs in the Pleasure Tower, Benefits Packages, Slimming Uniforms, and "Tons of Chicks and Booze and Stuff.") They also think Ironheade's rebellion is just a way to get out of work. 

The set battles between Ironheade and the Hair Metal Militia involve an attack on Bladehenge, an Ironheade assault on the gates of Battersmith that lead to The Cleave of the Impaler, and another assault storming the very gates of Lionwhyte's Pleasure Tower.

The Hair Metal Militia acts as an early antagonist faction, but eventually comes to an end once General Lionwhyte is defeated in his Pleasure Tower, although they can still be fought after Lionwhyte is dead in Secondary Missions such as Riding the Death Rack and Ironheade Sneak Attack.

UnitsEdit

SoundtrackEdit

  • Dr. Feelgood - Mötley Crüe
  • In The Still Of The Night - Whitesnake
  • Lay It Down - Ratt
  • The Wild And The Young - Quiet Riot
  • Youth Gone Wild - Skid Row
  • Blackout - Scorpions
  • Live Wire - Mötley Crüe
  • Mr. Scary - Dokken
  • Overnight Sensation - Firehouse
  • Queen Of The Masquerade - Crimson Glory
  • YRO - Racer X

AppearancesEdit

TriviaEdit

  • All the units feature big hair, bright colours, and glam metal names.
  • The Hair Metal Militia's units are merely re-textured Ironheade's units recruited at that point in the storyline, as well as units that will be recruited in the future.
  • Hair Metal Militia is a reference to the Metallica song, "Metal Militia".
  • Ironheade's hatred of the Hair Metal Militia is probably a reference to the thrash metal movement of the early 80's, wherein early thrash metal bands such as Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, and Slayer hated the style of glam metal, specifically, men dressing up as women.

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